When to become a mother…

 

I’ve never felt pressured by this issue, but perhaps because I haven’t reach the age, or i haven’t met the person whom I want to become a mother. But anyway a few months ago I remember someone asked me that question, if I wanted to have children and I answered with a “Some day .” Some day is not a day of the week, or a date in my calendar, is only in the file of nowhere. Maybe it’s because I’m at the end of my twenties, or maybe on my  30’s I’m going to start to feel the pressure hehe, I don’t know. I’m just saying not now. However there are many women out there, even today who feel the pressure on their shoulders, and there are others like me that we know how to handle this topic. Which reminds me the other day when I took a lyft and the driver was asking me if I had children (I do not remember how we got to this point),  but i answered no and not for now. He frowned and muttered the word selfich lol, I do not care what a stranger has thought about that topic. I think it’s more selfish not to give the necessary attention to the children, because it really was not on your list, everyone has their opinion and can express it. On the other hand there are  women that her dream was to get married and have children and is fine, if that’s what makes them happy.

I only remember two stories one from a college friend who once told me “ Angie everyone is getting married and having childred and i’m fricking out”. And one of my friends perhaps, was so much social pressure and family pressured too that she became a mother. She told me I love my son unconditionally and see him smile is the best, she says, but it is also true that my decisions were based on the  feeling that i needed to belong to a family and I know that  times have changed, she told me, and  if you don’t want to become a mother that’s fine too, this job is not for everyone, this is for those who have the courage to weigh more, to deform their bodies and to stop being you. She invites all women who doubt have children, do not do it, if they’re not convinced, and if they think something is missing, find it firt in themselves, they have to know they have themselves first.

Personally I think that there are many stories, and many situations, but we need to base our  decision on what we want and  to be agree with our partner. There are times when one wants babies, but the other not, I know they are things I have not lived and are things that maybe later i’m going to understand fully, but I think that since you meet your partner one of the topics should be this, to plan , to be clear on what each want, because yes a baby is a blessing, but it is a great responsibility and great dedication of your love, your energy, time and your money. I believe that everyone has their own rhythm, everyone has their own time and we must listen to our inner self and how you feel about it and not other people’s opinion, even if they are close friends, family, that “social pressure” can say a thousand things, but they will not look after your kids or your neccesities. So listen to yourself.

Angie M.

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